


Fate

by A Magiluna Stormwriter (ariestess)



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-20
Updated: 2006-05-20
Packaged: 2017-11-06 06:55:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/416033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariestess/pseuds/A%20Magiluna%20Stormwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roslin's thoughts on Dee and Billy, after Billy's death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fate

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aeonian](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=aeonian).



> Date: 20 May 2006  
> Word Count: 1140  
> Summary: Roslin's thoughts on Dee and Billy, after Billy's death.  
> Warnings: Spoilers for Season Two's "Sacrifice"  
> Website: ShatterStorm Productions – Frisked & Conquered  
> Link to: <http://f-n-c.shatterstorm.net/>  
> Archive: ShatterStorm Productions only…all others ask for permission & we'll see…
> 
> Author’s Disclaimer: "Battlestar Galactica," the characters, and situations depicted are the property of Ron Moore, David Eick, SciFi, R&D TV, Sky TV, and USA Cable Entertainment LLC. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. This site is in no way affiliated with "Battlestar Galactica," SciFi, or any representatives of the actors whose characters are involved.
> 
> Author’s Notes: This was written as a backup for [](http://aeonian.livejournal.com/profile)[**aeonian**](http://aeonian.livejournal.com/) for the Roslin round of [](http://getyourtoaster.livejournal.com/profile)[**getyourtoaster**](http://getyourtoaster.livejournal.com/) over at LiveJournal. Her requests were as follows:
>
>> > > prompt 1  
> character you want paired with Laura Roslin: D’Anna Biers.  
> up to three things you want to see in the story: A reaction to the documentary in “Final Cut.”  
> up to two things you don't want to see in the story: Fluff!  
> preferred rating: Any.
>
>> > prompt 2  
> character you want paired with Laura Roslin: Dualla  
> up to three things you want to see in the story: Something about how they’re connected to the same men (Billy, Adama, Apollo), maybe Billy’s death as the catalyst.  
> up to two things you don't want to see in the story: Fluff, Roslin sleeping with Billy.  
> preferred rating: Any.
>
>> > prompt 3  
> character you want paired with Laura Roslin: Cally  
> up to three things you want to see in the story: The Blackbird, set after its destruction but before "Lay Down Your Burdens."  
> up to two things you don't want to see in the story: Nothin'.  
> preferred rating: Any.
> 
> I'd had a great idea when I first offered to help out back in early May 2006, then my Roslin muse just decided to frak off to Bora Bora for a little vacation. So when I finally got back to it, she decided to completely change her tactics. And of course, my Roslin muse wanted to do this in second person present POV, which is always a stickler for me… I just went with it, and I hope my recipient likes it…
> 
> Dedication: To my muses, they know why…

  


It was never something you expected to think about. Well, maybe that's not exactly true. It's not as if you're completely alone out there in space. You all are connected in some way, shape, or form. You don't really have a choice. Survival is your top priority. Isn't it?

Isn't it?

Perhaps not. You watch them, trying to make something of their lives. How is it even possible? All of the uncertainty, the tragedy. How can they act as if nothing has happened? So many lives lost. So many hopes dashed to the ethers of space.

Perhaps it's a coping mechanism. Gods know, you have a few yourself, don't you? It's not like the chamalla is necessarily just for the cancer. Right? You use the chamalla, the visions to cope. To remember.

Billy's face swims before your eyes. Tears well up in your eyes, the ache gripping your heart like a vise. Why Billy? Why? Do the gods think you're all just toys to be played with and discarded when They become bored again?

You dig into the drawer where Billy's picture has been hidden, gently stroke the glass, and remember everything you can about him. Tory insisted you put it away, that there were more important things to worry about. The election, the black market, integrating the crews. But she didn't know Billy, did she? She's just some upstart little bitch who wants to play with the grown ups. But she'll do for now. You need someone to steer your thoughts from everything you've lost in the past year.

The knock at your door startles you and you quickly shove the picture back into its hiding spot. No sense in giving Tory the chance to give you that pitying look again.

"Come in," you call out softly, surprised at the huskiness in your voice.

"Ma'am?" Dualla's soft voice is uncertain as she stands in the doorway and gestures to the files in her hand. "Admiral Adama sent me to give you these."

"Come in, Anastasia," you reply warmly. There is a part of you that balks at the sight of her. She hurt Billy so badly. And who says she won't do the same thing to Lee? Shaking off those thoughts, you reach for the files. "Tell the Admiral I appreciate getting these so quickly."

"Yes, Ma'am, Madame President."

Glancing up again as she sets them on your desk, you can see she's standing at parade rest, waiting to be dismissed, but her eyes seem to be darting guiltily around the room. Yes, she should feel guilty, you think to yourself. She's the reason Billy's dead. You should hate her, you really should. And yet, there is a part of you that can't. Because you know the guilt is going to follow her until her dying day. Just like it's going to follow you, for not seeing the signs of what might be happening. You're not immune or sheltered from the fleet gossip. And Billy had always confided in you.

Digging in that same drawer where Billy's pictures are hidden, you dig out a small box. "There's something I'd like you to have, Anastasia," you reply in a tight voice. "Billy… Before he headed off for some R&R, he told me about proposing to you, about you turning him down."

"Yes, Ma'am," she replies in a husky tone, shifting uncomfortably.

"He was devastated, to say the least," you reply, as if she hadn't spoken at all. You want her to feel this, remember this until the day she frakking dies. "He truly did love you, you know. More than anything else in the world."

"No, Ma'am," she interrupts.

"Excuse me?"

"Permission to speak freely, Ma'am?"

"Always," you grind out, eyes narrowing at her.

"Billy loved you the most, loved working for you. It was… Yes, he did love me. I know that, and I thought I'd loved him. But it was always tempered with the realities of the lives we live out here. Billy was always so idealistic, so innocent. It was so refreshing to see that after being surrounded by hardened military personnel."

You blink back startled tears at her eloquent portrayal of your young aide. Billy had been like a son to you. It was one of the reasons you kept him around for so long. It wasn't his political agendas. Billy didn't have them; it wasn't his way. He always gave you that reminder that there was more to life than politics, than simple survival.

"And yes, Ma'am, I know that I hurt him terribly by turning him down. But it felt like the right thing to do. I didn't want to say yes and then come to resent him. No, that's not right. I didn't want him to resent me. I didn't want to change him from that sweet man I met. Do you get what I'm saying?"

You watch her for a long moment. You can see the emotions laid raw in her eyes, the glitter of unshed tears. "So you're saying that it was better to jade him to love before it inconvenienced you?" You don't even bother to cover the contempt in your voice. "Is that it, Petty Officer Dualla?"

"No, Ma'am," she whispers, but can't meet your gaze.

Gripping the small box tightly in your fist, you make your way to stand in front of her. None too kindly, you take her hand and press the box into her palm. "He wanted to start a family with you, Anastasia. Did you know that? He wanted to bring some hope into this gods-forsaken war we're dealing with. And you toyed with his feelings. Do you think you're one of the gods to have that sort of control over another person?"

"No, Ma'am," she whispers again, and you see the tears start trickling down her cheeks.

"This isn't the ring he proposed to you with," you continue ruthlessly. "No, this is the ring he was going to put on your finger when you did get married. This ring belonged to his mother, and several generations of grandmothers before her. This was the ring he wanted to then pass on to your children, to continue the tradition. But you wouldn't let that happen, would you?"

"No, Ma'am." The words are barely even breathed at this point.

"So you keep this, Anastasia, as a reminder of what might have been. And as a reminder of the power you hold over others." You lean in closer, your voice dropping to a lethal whisper. "I will never forgive you for what you did to Billy, for making him feel that he had to die to protect you, to regain your favor. But if I find out you even consider doing the same thing to Lee Adama, you'll wish you'd never been born. Are we clear?"

"Yes, Ma'am."


End file.
